Ceremony
Pictorials
Reception
Cake and Cupcakes

I’m so excited that my nerves are in a frenzy. This past week we’ve been pretty relaxed, but now I’m listening to my bridal march song,  and I’m so psyched that just listening to the song brings tears to my eyes. (Check out my epiphany about it from months ago.) Ted of Manila String Machine says they’ve been rehearsing the music they requested, and I can’t wait to hear their renditions of the Star Wars themes we love so much.

In other news, we want our guests to know that we’ll be setting up a wifi router at the reception. We have friends and relatives who won’t be able to make it to the wedding, for various reasons: work, travel, etc. Also, as much as we’d like to, we really can’t invite all our friends. But we’d like them to still be part of the wedding, even if only through virtual means.

So we’d like to ask those of you with wifi-capable mobile/smart phones to post live updates during the wedding. I’m not sure if the router will be on during the ceremony (I doubt it), but it definitely will be during the reception! If you can post photos through your phones, even better! Post them on Facebook, Twitter, Google Buzz, even Plurk! This is the only way we can share our wedding with the rest of the world, as it happens.

Ron will be in charge of the wifi connection, so all guests who wish to connect to the Intarwebs can ask him for the password and other connection details during the wedding. Ron will also try to broadcast the wedding live via video streaming; if you know how to do this, input would be welcome! Send suggestions and questions to rej (dot) oneal (dot) 2010 (at) gmail (dot) com.

Yeah, yeah, we’re really geeks, we want to broadcast our wedding online. But hey, we’re not as bad as the couple that was Tweeting DURING THEIR OWN WEDDING CEREMONY. That was ridiculous.

As you can see, the list of requirements is about a mile long. But I figured, it’s just tedious, but I can do it. Maybe I could spend a day or two gathering all the documents, and be ready for the initial assessment and interview the next day, or even Monday. A terse but helpful lady at the LCRO Table of Requirements pointed me to step 1, where I could fill up a form to request for the latest certified/local copies of Mom’s and my birth certificates. I filled up and submitted the request, and they told me to go to the next room and wait.

Apparently, all the miserable people, ehem, I mean, applicants, had to wait in this large room, and your name would be called over a sound system. Your request would be handed to you, and you would be directed to an available City Hall employee at the counters, who would tell you what to do next.

I made a mistake with my first attempt, and wrote my mother’s full name on the request for my birth certificate. Since the error was with her name to begin with, naturally they didn’t find the original/local copy of my birth certificate. It was at this point that the clerk told me I would have to go to the hospital where I was born, and ask the clerk there for a copy. I nodded politely, thanked her, and left the waiting room. Then I walked to the corridor near the LCRO Table of Requirements, called Oneal, and promptly started crying. “They couldn’t find my birth certificate *sniff* and now they said *heave* I have to go *sniff sniff* to Mary Chiles! *cough* How the hell am I supposed to know where the hell that is! *sob* I don’t know how to get there!” Around me, other applicants were walking, staring, looking at their own impossible lists.

Oneal did his best to reassure me that we could find the hospital, things would work out, we would find all the documents and make the correction and it would be fine. I’m sure he felt very helpless, sitting in the office while I was in the dusty, decrepit concrete jungle that is Manila City Hall, battling my way through the red tape. Oh hunny, I’m so sorry to have stressed you out.

When I put the phone down, I realized my mistake, and decided to try again. I got two more forms, and filled up one with all the same information that was on my actual birth certificate. I also filled out a request for a copy of my mom’s birth certificate. But by this time it was almost noon, and I feared I would have to wait an hour or two while the city hall employees went on their lunch breaks. To my surprise, a very enthusiastic man at the waiting room counters explained over the PA system that they would not close for lunch, that they would have lunch in shifts, and that they would still process the requests. Despite the fact that the city hall manangs were grumpy, it cheered me up a tad that this nice old man was trying to keep our hopes up.

Eventually my turn came, and thankfully it was a success. Another terse lady called me over, made some notes on my request forms, and told me to walk to the next building, pay the fees, then come back and submit the payment stub at Step 2. With a lighter heart I walked out of the LCRO (damn accursed place) and towards the Taxpayers Lounge. I was but a few feet from the lounge when I was accosted by a nice man, who asked where I was going.

I thought he was a city hall employee, since the other hallways seemed to have other staff whose sole duty was to direct people towards the right office. I said I was going to the Taxpayers Lounge, and he asked what my problem was. So I explained that I was having my birth certificate corrected, and he exclaimed that it was a long and arduous process that would take at least six months. But not to worry! He had a solution, and he beckoned me to follow him to his friend on the second floor, and the problem would be fixed in a week.

Gladly I went with him, complaining about the bureaucracy as we climbed the stairs. On the second floor he led me down the row of councilors’ offices. We stopped outside one such office, and he introduced me to this fat, middle-aged woman sitting by the window, talking to another fat, middle-aged woman. He explained my problem, and told me that this woman (I forget her name) could help me. So I sat beside her, and explained my problem in greater detail. I thought we would enter the councilor’s office and talk there, but the woman seemed perfectly content to hold office by the window. She said if I went the LCRO way, it would take months and months, plus a court hearing, to change my birth certificate.  If I did it her way, she would just write out a court order stating that I had submitted the petition for the correction three months ago, and my birth certificate was now fixed. It would only take a week, and P2,500.

It was while she was explaining the process to me that I noticed she wore no ID, and seemed to have worn a groove in the seat because she was just so comfortable there. She must have noticed the decline in my enthusiasm, because she said it could also be done for only P1,000, but it would take two weeks. It was at this point that I realized: I was actually talking to a fixer! Preparing for this wedding has certainly opened doors to totally new experiences.

When she was done explaining, I said I would have to think about it. She gave me her number, which I dutifully wrote down, and I said I would call her once I had the money. As soon as I was out of her line of sight, I ran downstairs and made a beeline for the Taxpayers Lounge, eager to avoid any other nice old men who would try to offer me the easy way out. Once I was in line to pay the fee, I called Oneal and told him about the whole debacle.

When I got off the phone with Oneal, the pregnant woman in front of me told me she had actually done exactly as Fixer Woman had said, but through a lawyer or something who actually worked at City Hall and was a family friend, someone her family knew and trusted. I think I just politely said I didn’t know anyone at city hall, so I’d just have to stick it out. I paid my fees (which took a comedic turn, because they opened up a Senior Citizen’s lane and one old lady protested when the clerk called her “lola”), went back to the LCRO, submitted my payment stub, and was told to come back on Monday to claim the birth certificates.

By this time it was past 1:00, and there was nothing more I could do at City Hall. I trudged to SM Manila, found myself some meager lunch fare–which I couldn’t even finish–and called Oneal for another update. Notice, by the way, that the day had been spent trying to obtain only items 1 and 2 from Manila City Hall. The other seven items are another story. Abangan!

When we reserved the St. Francis of Assisi Chapel at Fernwood Gardens, we had to go to the Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish in Project 6, since the chapel was under their care/authority (“Tyranny” would be more appropriate.  But I get ahead of myself.) So we booked the chapel for our date, and the parish office gave us a list of requirements. It was a pretty long list, but it didn’t seem that bad when we first saw it. Hah, unbeknownst to us, we were about to embark on a journey that would take us to many City Halls and churches . (And I just wanted to use the word “unbeknownst”.)

Just so we’re all on the same page, boys and girls, here’s the list of requirements they asked of the bride and the groom:

1. NSO-certified birth certificate
2. NSO-issued CENOMAR
3. Newly-issued baptismal certificate, with the annotation, “For Marriage Purposes”
4. Newly-issued confirmation certificate, with the annotation, “For Marriage Purposes”
5. Wedding banns and permit to marry
6. Marriage license from the municipality where either the groom or the bride reside
7. Latest 2×2 picture with white background
8. Pre-marriage counseling seminar
9. Canonical interview
10. Final interview and confession

All documents must be dated within 6 months of the wedding, and submitted two months before the wedding. Okay, seems easy enough. The birth certificate and CENOMAR could be ordered and paid for online through the NSO website, and would be delivered right to our doorstep, no problem. The baptismal certificates were easy; Oneal was baptized in San Vicente de Paul Church in Manila, right beside Adamson University. I was baptized in Santo Domingo Church in QC. Both were fairly accessible.

The confirmation certificates, we knew, would require some effort. Oneal didn’t remember what year he was confirmed, but he knew where. I, on the other hand, was confirmed on the sly, in the US Embassy in Riyadh, by an Italian bishop from the Vicar Apostolic of Arabia, which was based in Abu Dhabi. I had the original certificate though; surely Mount Carmel would be satisfied with that? After all, they couldn’t possibly expect me to hop on a plane to Riyadh or Abu Dhabi to get my confirmation certificate. Could they?

The wedding banns were easy; these were documents issued by Mount Carmel and posted in our respective parish churches for three consecutive Sundays, to inform our communities of our upcoming marriage. For the uninformed, this is done to give others the chance to present any possible impediment to the wedding before the actual event. Should no objection be raised, the parish churches will give the bride and the groom permission to marry.

The marriage license we thought would be tricky. We decided to file for it in Parañaque, since Oneal had live there all his life, and had many documents attesting to the fact. I, on the other hand, have lived in Saudi Arabia, Kamias, Antipolo and Cubao, so my documents had rather scattered addresses. To our surprise, the requirements for the marriage license were simple enough. Some documents and one hour of forms, photocopying, payments and “counseling” in Parañaque City Hall were all it took, and one week later we had our marriage license! Well, there was a surprise.

The pre-cana seminar proved to be a case of misunderstanding and annoyance. We had wanted to take the pre-cana seminar at the Center for Family Ministries in Ateneo de Manila University, as it came well-recommended by many people. Oneal asked Mount Carmel if this was okay, and a nice lady said it was. So we reserved a slot in a CEFAM’s January schedule, and I deposited a payment of P4,000. That was a bust, but more on that later.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~

That weekend, Oneal and I went to Mount Carmel to submit our documents, confident that it would be a breeze. We had everything in order, and we figured we could just explain about my confirmation certificate being rather, ah, inaccessible. Alas, we were very gravely mistaken.

They noticed in my documents–specifically my birth certificate and my baptismal certificate–that my mother’s name was not consistent: one document said only “Marian” while others said “Marian Regina”. This apparently was unacceptable, because there must be NO DISCREPANCIES among any of the documents. They asked me what my mother’s name really was, and I said, “Marian Regina.” The parish office told us, well, you’re going to have to have your birth certificate corrected at city hall. They were willing to proceed with the marriage, but only if I submitted (1) an affidavit stating I would correct my birth certificate and not hold the parish liable for any conflict arising from the discrepancy in names; and (2) a Certificate for Facilitation of Correction of my birth certificate from the Local Civil Registry Office of the City Hall of the municipality in which I was born. Oh, and (3) a copy of my corrected birth certificate, to follow after the wedding.

Did you get all of that? I didn’t, because I was so dismayed by all that the parish office guy was saying that I almost burst into tears right there and then.

Of course, parish office guy wasn’t done. He said he had to consult the Diocese of Cubao about my confirmation certificate. Not content, he also said that Oneal’s baptismal certificate would be a problem, because his name was stated there as “Jose Ronnelo Rosero”; none of his other documents bore the name “Jose.” He would have to go back to San Vicente de Paul, and they would issue a letter so he could bring it to the Office of the Chancery in Intramuros, where an amendment would be made.

And for the big finale: we were required to take the pre-cana seminar in Mount Carmel, and even if we had taken the seminar at CEFAM, it would not be sufficient. So the slot we had reserved and the payment I had made were all in vain.

We went back home, rather dismayed, and wondered what to do next. Well, I knew what I was doing next: lying in bed and moping, tears streaming down my face as I wondered, “What are we supposed to do now?” It was like a giant rock had been dropped in our path, and there was no way around it.

- rej

We spent Tuesday night in Roseroland, then woke up bright and early on Wednesday to go to Parañaque City Hall. We applied for the marriage license, which only took an hour. The documents required were the CENOMARs (Certificates of No Previous Marriage, obtained from the NSO), our NSO-certified birth certificates, and Oneal’s barangay clearance, since he’s a resident of Parañaque.

We went to the office, where the nice lady gave us a form to fill up–in triplicate. Naturally Oneal made me fill them up–”Your handwriting’s much better than mine!”–while he went to have our CENOMARs and birth certificates photocopied. That form was pretty detailed. Not only did it ask for the bride and groom’s personal information, but also for our parents’ information. Good thing I’m 28–if I’d been anywhere from 18 to 25, I would need a parent’s permission to get the marriage license. Zoiks.

Upon completion of the form, we had to have it notarized. We went to a law office that the nice lady specified, and for P50 they notarized and signed the forms. Then we had to make a payment of P200 at a payment lounge. Then we returned to the nice lady (it helps to be there early, and to smile at them), who gave us a slip of paper and told us to go to the DSWD office on the second floor for counseling.

This is the funny part. The nice lady told us the counseling wouldn’t take long. So we went to the office with our slips of paper, and a secretary told us to sit down, fill up some forms and sign our names on some logbooks, while she typed up a form with our names and had it signed by some lady of authority. Upon signing our certificates, she called Oneal, gave us the certificates, and said we could go. Uhm. Yep, counseling! Oneal said, “Well, if they leave you alone for a few minutes and you don’t end up yelling at each other, then you don’t need counseling!” Haay.

Then back to nice lady, who gave us our receipt and told us to come back for the license on December 21. Done!

Up next: Oneal’s baptismal certificate! We were done at the city hall by 10, so we rushed to San Vicente de Paul church in Manila, near Adamson University and TUP. Traffic was getting congested, and it was 11:30 when we made it there. Fortunately the parish office didn’t close for lunch till noon, so we had time. Oneal got his baptismal certificate. Yay!

We hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast at 6:30 AM, so we went to Makati for lunch. By 3:00 we were on the way to Bulacan, to get our wedding rings and arrhae. Traffic was bad, and I was tired and full. I fell asleep somewhere in Mandaluyong; when I woke up, we were back on EDSA and approaching Cubao. The jewelry shop was closing at 5, so we had to hurry down NLEX to get to Meycauayan. It was a little past 4 when we made it there, and boy was the trip worth it. Our rings are beautiful! So beautiful that I didn’t want to take mine off na. It looked so lovely on my finger, next to my engagement ring. The jeweler said it was a really nice design, like something she saw from Bulgari. Sosyal!

After that, it was back south. We went to the Fort, and hopped into Make Room for our wedding registry. We started picking out a few things, while waiting for Aids to come over so we could go to the dress shop. It was fun to pick out things for our new home (wherever that may be). It must be noted that most of the things we picked out were kitchen items and serving dishes; we love having people over, and we expect that both our families will be coming over a lot, especially when we have our first baby!

Then Aids arrived, and we went to Tita Jenny’s. He got measured for his barong, and we discussed Oneal’s barong with Tita Jenny. Also, good news for the lovely ladies of the entourage: your dresses will be ready for first fitting by next week. Mine too!

So in one day, we:

1. Applied for the marriage license
2. Got Oneal’s baptismal certificate
3. Got our wedding rings and arrhae
4. Picked out things for our wedding registry
5. Designed Oneal’s barong

That’s a lot for one day! And WE’RE NOT DONE! *faint*

Right now, we’re working on our marriage license. We need to make a personal appearance at the Parañaque City Hall, and present our CENOMARs, NSO birth certificates and Oneal’s certificate of residency.

We also made reservations to attend the pre-cana seminar at the Center for Family in Ateneo in January. But before we can do that, we need an authorization letter from the church. AND we need to submit our birth, baptismal and confirmation certificates. Egads! Surely getting married was never this complicated before?

On the upside, I think all the suppliers have been booked. The venue is now fully paid, yay! We’ve also finalized the program.

It’s only two months away, and it feels like there’s still so much we need to do. To top it all off, it’s Christmas! But I guess Christmas is just another opportunity to be thankful that I have a wonderful Oneal who wants to marry me.

It’s going to be a Merry Christmas indeed!

– rej

Since that weekend, and through the other typhoons that have blown through the country, we’ve been busy with relief efforts here and there. Also, Oneal has a new job, and I have two new projects that keep me busy. So you can understand how our wedding planning got sidetracked.

Now we’re gathering our wits again, and going through all our wedding checklists to see what else needs doing. Fortunately, there’s not a lot left. All the major suppliers have been booked:

• Ceremony and reception venue – Fernwood Gardens, QC
• Caterer – Shangri-La Chinese Restaurant
• Florist for the church – 15-58 Flowers and Styles
• Florist for the entourage – Go4Flowers
• Photographer – Pat Mateo
• Videographer – 30fps
• Cake artist – Our friend, Reitch Calabia
• Couturier – Our friend, Jenny Rojales
• Rings maker
• Bridal jewelry – Our ninang, Ruby Bayan

So now, here’s what we need to do next:

1. Book the hair and make-up artist
2. Complete our wedding documents
3. Draft and finalize the missalette
4. Design and finalize the invitations
5. Decide on the music for the ceremony
6. Decide on the music for the reception
7. Decide on the preps hotel
8. Finalize the reception program
9. Attend a pre-cana seminar

There’s more that needs to be done, but these are the most urgent. We’re working on some of them already:

• Some of the documents have been obtained while a few others need to be requested.
• We’ve canvassed 4 hotels in Quezon City already.
• I know which HMUA I want to get.
• Jovan is working on our invitations.

Some things need more work than others, obviously. But we’re getting there. Wish us luck! In the meantime, it’s my birthday on Saturday, and we’re flying to Bora for a much-needed vacation. Yay!

– rej

the funny thing is that we never tell any of them about the theme of the wedding when we initially meet. we only inform them about what we have planned right after we sign the contract and give them the check. fortunately, none of them reacted violently when we tell them what we have planned. they all seem to get really excited when they find out it will be a Star Wars wedding.

they can’t wait to be a part of it because it is something different from what they usually have to do, which can get tiring after a while.

the best part is that they can play the Imperial March!

5 months to go and we are ahead of schedule.

- oneal